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Hot 25 YO GWM Seeks Dominant Political Party

Uncategorized   January 25, 2010 at 12:15 pm ObamaNerd

I am thinking about getting out of a long term relationship with my current political party and I am ready to start anew with a hot and truly dominant political party.

Please no smokers.

I know it’s against protocol to talk about your past relationships while seeking new ones, but it might help my suitors to know what I need.  Although, there’s been some titillation in our relationship lately (yay Sotomayor appointment, yay O-speech in Cairo) I’m starting to think that it’s just time we broke up.  See, it’s not that we don’t get along or we don’t see eye-to-eye (although get your shit together on Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell).  We do on most things (yay on health care reform).  Plus, I am really flexible and patient.

Maybe I am patient to a fault. I am so patient that I have been waiting over three years for things to improve between us.  It’s just, I want my dominant political party to be in charge. So, take charge.  If I give you permission to be a dominant political party, be fucking dominant!

I like long walks on the beach and cuddling on the couch too.

One of the things I also enjoy, future suitors, is role play. This is your opportunity, dominant political party, to show me who’s boss.  You’re going to shove that big public option down my throat, aren’t you? Do it!

Well, there is nothing more, um, deflating than seeing, what is supposed to be, a political party in charge – wearing leather chaps and getting ready to dominate – when that look comes across their face of “Oh shit, what do I do next’?

I get it.  You’re not used to being in charge and you don’t know what to do. Well, it could be time for you to put down the riding crop and climate change dildo and move aside. I need someone that knows how to be in charge.

No druggies, please.

I waited three years for my current political party to get their shit together and assume the role. Now I need someone that understands it on Day 1.

Are you that dominant political party?  If so, please apply.  Unless you’re married.  I don’t do married men anymore.


  • ohmy2

    I just choked on my sandwich. Very funny and true.

  • ohmy2

    I just choked on my sandwich. Very funny and true.

  • ohmy2

    I just choked on my sandwich. Very funny and true.

  • M.Fierce

    Yeah, no kidding. Give me something strong and hard! I have a solid wrought iron headboard that I can hold onto and I’m tired of being tickled in the ass. If you’re having a difficult time keeping it hard than strap one on for me Dems.

  • M.Fierce

    Yeah, no kidding. Give me something strong and hard! I have a solid wrought iron headboard that I can hold onto and I’m tired of being tickled in the ass. If you’re having a difficult time keeping it hard than strap one on for me Dems.

  • M.Fierce

    Yeah, no kidding. Give me something strong and hard! I have a solid wrought iron headboard that I can hold onto and I’m tired of being tickled in the ass. If you’re having a difficult time keeping it hard than strap one on for me Dems.

  • UrbanDictionary

    What we need is a progressive version of the Teabaggers… (‘Cause, after all, when you’re in a dry spell, sometimes a little self-love is just the right medicine.) I’m too innocent to think of a similarly dirty entendre for an progressive offshoot, but I know Publicola readers can come through. So, what should we call ourselves?

  • UrbanDictionary

    What we need is a progressive version of the Teabaggers… (‘Cause, after all, when you’re in a dry spell, sometimes a little self-love is just the right medicine.) I’m too innocent to think of a similarly dirty entendre for an progressive offshoot, but I know Publicola readers can come through. So, what should we call ourselves?

  • UrbanDictionary

    What we need is a progressive version of the Teabaggers… (‘Cause, after all, when you’re in a dry spell, sometimes a little self-love is just the right medicine.) I’m too innocent to think of a similarly dirty entendre for an progressive offshoot, but I know Publicola readers can come through. So, what should we call ourselves?

  • Haven

    Love it, very funny.
    Thanks

  • Haven

    Love it, very funny.
    Thanks

  • Haven

    Love it, very funny.
    Thanks

  • Mica

    LOL

  • Mica

    LOL

  • Mica

    LOL

  • sverkanya

    Sweet mercy, this was funny. LOVES.

  • sverkanya

    Sweet mercy, this was funny. LOVES.

  • sverkanya

    Sweet mercy, this was funny. LOVES.

  • LEFTisRIGHT

    OMG is back! Instant classic.

  • LEFTisRIGHT

    OMG is back! Instant classic.

  • LEFTisRIGHT

    OMG is back! Instant classic.

  • Plastic Exploding Inevitable

    Sounds like you’ve been hiding your true politicosity all these years.

    You want maximum freedom. You want good government yet you want it off your back. You want prosperity more than regulation.

    Take a walk on the wild side.

    Vote Republican.

    Do dah Do dah Do
    Dah Do Do
    Dah Do Do Do Do

  • Plastic Exploding Inevitable

    Sounds like you’ve been hiding your true politicosity all these years.

    You want maximum freedom. You want good government yet you want it off your back. You want prosperity more than regulation.

    Take a walk on the wild side.

    Vote Republican.

    Do dah Do dah Do
    Dah Do Do
    Dah Do Do Do Do

  • Plastic Exploding Inevitable

    Sounds like you’ve been hiding your true politicosity all these years.

    You want maximum freedom. You want good government yet you want it off your back. You want prosperity more than regulation.

    Take a walk on the wild side.

    Vote Republican.

    Do dah Do dah Do
    Dah Do Do
    Dah Do Do Do Do

  • Ha!

    Sure, the Republicans are a great choice…
    Unless you want an abortion.
    Or want to marry your same-sex partner.
    Or don’t want to marry your opposite-sex partner.
    Or don’t want to go to war for stupid reasons.
    Or don’t want to drive the nation into debt.
    Or have the ability to reason and think for yourself.
    Or resent being talked down to by millionaires who claim to be “regular Joes”
    Or don’t like having foreign corporations meddle in our politics.
    Or like paying more taxes than wealthy people

    I could go on, but you get the idea. Dems are a mess, but Republicans are saps. I’d rather be a mess than be played for a fool.

  • Ha!

    Sure, the Republicans are a great choice…
    Unless you want an abortion.
    Or want to marry your same-sex partner.
    Or don’t want to marry your opposite-sex partner.
    Or don’t want to go to war for stupid reasons.
    Or don’t want to drive the nation into debt.
    Or have the ability to reason and think for yourself.
    Or resent being talked down to by millionaires who claim to be “regular Joes”
    Or don’t like having foreign corporations meddle in our politics.
    Or like paying more taxes than wealthy people

    I could go on, but you get the idea. Dems are a mess, but Republicans are saps. I’d rather be a mess than be played for a fool.

  • Ha!

    Sure, the Republicans are a great choice…
    Unless you want an abortion.
    Or want to marry your same-sex partner.
    Or don’t want to marry your opposite-sex partner.
    Or don’t want to go to war for stupid reasons.
    Or don’t want to drive the nation into debt.
    Or have the ability to reason and think for yourself.
    Or resent being talked down to by millionaires who claim to be “regular Joes”
    Or don’t like having foreign corporations meddle in our politics.
    Or like paying more taxes than wealthy people

    I could go on, but you get the idea. Dems are a mess, but Republicans are saps. I’d rather be a mess than be played for a fool.

  • Hmmmm…..

    haha… yeah, theyre married, and you really won’t like the wife.

  • Hmmmm…..

    haha… yeah, theyre married, and you really won’t like the wife.

  • Hmmmm…..

    haha… yeah, theyre married, and you really won’t like the wife.

  • Libbertine

    What a riot. Love it! And feel about the same.

  • Libbertine

    What a riot. Love it! And feel about the same.

  • Libbertine

    What a riot. Love it! And feel about the same.

  • feeder

    Maria Cantwell is so hot.

  • feeder

    Maria Cantwell is so hot.

  • feeder

    Maria Cantwell is so hot.

  • Paul S

    Spare me the self-absorbed bullish.

    Don’t you people GET IT? The country is and has been under the COMPLETE control of corporatists – there probably isn’t a goddam thing you or I can do about it given the fact that 90% of people in this country are complete morons and have essentially no understanding of the fact that the GOP’s ultimate goal is utter destruction of whatever’s left of our welfare state, and elimination of corporate taxes, taxes on capital gains and dividends. Don’t even get me started on the environment…. You really think you can work your way up nowadays? How much debt do you have? Are wages and opportunities increasing? Think hard and get back to me…

    Frankly, this generation lacks the backbone, intelligence and passion to take back the country FOR THE PEOPLE. – Maybe we never even had it, but at least the previous generation was fighting for it 40 years ago. Today most people are too SELF-ABSORBED to protest. Posting pictures of themselves on Facebook all day, oblivious to the fact that everything they post is subject to corporate interests in the long-run.

    Obama appears to believe Republicans have the ability to think rationally or in the interests of the nation WHICH THEY DON’T!

    wake up. wake the F up people.

  • Paul S

    Spare me the self-absorbed bullish.

    Don’t you people GET IT? The country is and has been under the COMPLETE control of corporatists – there probably isn’t a goddam thing you or I can do about it given the fact that 90% of people in this country are complete morons and have essentially no understanding of the fact that the GOP’s ultimate goal is utter destruction of whatever’s left of our welfare state, and elimination of corporate taxes, taxes on capital gains and dividends. Don’t even get me started on the environment…. You really think you can work your way up nowadays? How much debt do you have? Are wages and opportunities increasing? Think hard and get back to me…

    Frankly, this generation lacks the backbone, intelligence and passion to take back the country FOR THE PEOPLE. – Maybe we never even had it, but at least the previous generation was fighting for it 40 years ago. Today most people are too SELF-ABSORBED to protest. Posting pictures of themselves on Facebook all day, oblivious to the fact that everything they post is subject to corporate interests in the long-run.

    Obama appears to believe Republicans have the ability to think rationally or in the interests of the nation WHICH THEY DON’T!

    wake up. wake the F up people.

  • Paul S

    Spare me the self-absorbed bullish.

    Don’t you people GET IT? The country is and has been under the COMPLETE control of corporatists – there probably isn’t a goddam thing you or I can do about it given the fact that 90% of people in this country are complete morons and have essentially no understanding of the fact that the GOP’s ultimate goal is utter destruction of whatever’s left of our welfare state, and elimination of corporate taxes, taxes on capital gains and dividends. Don’t even get me started on the environment…. You really think you can work your way up nowadays? How much debt do you have? Are wages and opportunities increasing? Think hard and get back to me…

    Frankly, this generation lacks the backbone, intelligence and passion to take back the country FOR THE PEOPLE. – Maybe we never even had it, but at least the previous generation was fighting for it 40 years ago. Today most people are too SELF-ABSORBED to protest. Posting pictures of themselves on Facebook all day, oblivious to the fact that everything they post is subject to corporate interests in the long-run.

    Obama appears to believe Republicans have the ability to think rationally or in the interests of the nation WHICH THEY DON’T!

    wake up. wake the F up people.